During the heated controversy of a ‘war conflict’ in Vietnam, a group of men bonded as brothers, in hopes to survive the horrors of war. After the war, they often thought of their times together, curious as to where everyone was and what they had accomplished in their lives. My husband coped by doing his best to erase Vietnam; however, those memories were embedded within his brain. Each time he remembered them, he whispered, "It don't mean nothing." As his young wife, I could not understand and I struggled to be supportive while being a bit curious as to what those four words really meant. During heated arguments, he whispered those words to me. I retaliated by saying, "It does mean something. When we fight it destroys me." Little did I know, those four words, "It don't mean nothing," were his way of coping with a war conflict that America failed to support.

Reunions can be an experience you will either remember with happiness and pride, or something you would prefer sweeping under the rug. This week, my husband and I retreated to a reunion of Vietnam Veterans and spouses at Hidden Mountain Resorts, Sevierville, Tennessee. Never have I laughed so much this year, or for many years. Perhaps laughter is the easiest way to cope with such raw emotions. Vietnam was a long, long time ago and for this group -- the HHC 3rd Brigade, 9th Infantry Division, they were all in Vietnam during 1968-1969. The reunion was a time to reminisce about Vietnam and the bonding all of them shared. It was a time to be thankful for all that we have accomplished in our lives, during Vietnam and beyond. A time to appreciate life, family and friendship. A time to cherish just being together again, hearing stories, sharing laughter, hugs and the bonding that happens between soldiers and families. The reunion isn't about Vietnam, but it is about a group of youthful guys who gave their all for freedom and their beliefs.

The reunions began in 1996 with only a handful of veterans bonding together to reminisce and share how they survived and built a life after completing their tour of duty. Each reunion adds new members to the group and together they discover how important and healing their bonding is to them and their families. Originally the group of soldiers consisted of 41. For 2009, 26 veterans gathered. To date, five have left us and there are a few who are sick or recovering from illnesses now. All we can do for the future is to pray for each other, support each other and do all we can to reminisce and share the love and bonding of such a group of soldiers who stood tall to support our Nation and fight for freedom. This group of men consist of professionals who returned home to become attorneys, judges, truck drivers, DoD contractors, military retirees, iron workers, and professionals from all walks of life.

While at Hidden Mountain we shared delicious meals of hamburgers, turkey burgers and hotdogs, shark steak, shrimp Creole, homemade banana bread, chicken Cordon Bleu, and prime rib. The food was always within reach, making many of us realize we had to learn to say no to one more bite.

During a banquet wise words were shared, reminding all of us that we never know what we will find this year at the reunion, but we do know, we must get together to enjoy our friendship, remember the good times we had in 'Nam, and the great times we are having together again in friendship and our bonding. We must remember to cherish every breath we take. We must enjoy the journey and adventure of life and be thankful for being here again.

The reunion is credited to Dusty "Pops" Dewberry, his lovely wife, Lou, Greg Ellis and his lovely wife, Judy, and all of the men and women who attended. Gathering from Saturday until Tuesday, it was difficult to say goodbye. Throats tightened, tears poured and hugs wer unlimited. The next reunion is scheduled for July 30 - August 3, 2010 at Lost Arrow Resort Gladwin, Michigan.

My husband's military reunion is this weekend in Sevierville, Tennessee. This is the weekend of my birthday. While it is true, a lady does not 'share her age,' all I will say is my age is just a number. I am still young at heart, and I do all I can to make my life as young and vibrant as humanly possible. Still, I am in awe of how the years are flying by -- not just passing by -- but FLYING! As a military man during the Vietnam conflict, my husband kept everything inside. At first, I felt threatened that he refused to share his war experiences with me. After a few years, I realized, war is something a soldier does not share. When I was younger, I couldn't understand. I thought a husband and wife shared everything. Silly me!

The Vietnam 'conflict' was a war where family was not considered, at least for the military family. My husband came home, never to get counseling or reentry adjustment, or whatever they choose to call it now. Never did anyone (especially a Family Support Group) contact us about how he was doing and how we were doing. We simply trudged along, readjusting to life as a husband and wife. A bit difficult for me. I had been married only three months when he left. No Power of Attorney. No documents about anything and I did all that I could to make an independent life. After he returned home, well --let's just say, it was an adjustment. Suddenly I had to share my decisions with him, and he with me. Suppose I shall keep the rest of this only to myself.

Now, flash forward, to many, many years later as we meet up with his band of brothers. I have to compliment all of them after meeting them in the 2007 reunion in Michigan. As a group, we all got along great and it was truly a new, lively, and lovely family for me. I felt right at home.

As for this year, I am hopeful to feel right at home again. Phil, my husband, has Karaoke music set aside, and of course, I will be up there singing my heart out, while hoping the rest of the group will do the same.

Vietnam was a long time ago. We all have moved on, recognizing that some of the guys have PTSD -- my husband included, and many of the wives have accepted the emotional scars of war. For the Iraq and Afghanistan soldiers, I am hopeful that they will not have to walk in the shoes of the Vietnam era veterans. I cannot imagine going off to war for three, four and five tours. Nor can I imagine what war is like. I have only lived it during the flashbacks and rages my husband experiences, and each time, I want to cradle him close to me, to make the hurt, fear and anger go away. I cannot erase these horrific experiences from his mind, but I can comfort and pray that someday he will return to me. Perhaps a bit battle scarred, and scared. Life is never easy. Marriage? Let's don't even go there.

According to the "VA" officials, it 'doesn't help my husband's case that he is still on his first wife.'

Yes, those were the words they shared, and I wanted to go on the attack, but I took a deep breath and told my husband I was supporting his experiences and his life.

My wish for all who fight a war is to find peace. Peace within yourself knowing you did the right thing and you coped the best way you could. And for all who have fought in a war, whether it was World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm, the Cold Wars, Iraq, Afghanistan and beyond, I say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Yes, this weekend will be an experience and I will share more after the fact. As for this chick, let's just say, champagne and O.J. is on my grocery list. Wine is ready to be packed, along with my beach chair, camera, and Netbook. This is my birthday weekend, and I plan to ENJOY! You'll just have to return to my blog to read more -- LATER!

P. S. While writing this, my husband phoned. He spoke with the VA about his claim today. The clerk stated 'claim is still in Washington -- SINCE MARCH 2008 - and it was reviewed AGAIN in May 2009. Now it has gone to the Judge.' Gees. Could the VA move ANY SLOWER???????